I'm a bit too tired to theologize tonight, but I do want to write - maybe even just so we can get comfortable with each other :) haha
I've been struggling lately with the idea of friendship; what constitutes a true friendship, what was a true friendship but is no longer, what is a casual 'friendship' and remains thus, and who are simply acquaintances with whom you are friendly. I attempted pretty vigorously over the past year to identify my true friendships and invest in them particularly - relationships with people that were truly give-and-take on a real and essential level, that I could expect to last for a long time. Apparently this move - to look for friends who were interested in giving back, rather than unambiguously sharing myself with everyone - was interpreted as selfish by some people I considered to be close friends, and, unexpectedly, led to them terminating the friendship.
I could analyze this further, but I do want to refrain from too many details or allowing this to degenerate into complaining about the situation - although it is a very troubling and difficult one, trying to figure out if it's my fault or theirs. However, I'm too tired to really think of anything else to say and be able to be sure I won't want to delete it later (yay 1:30 am posts). So I'll end with a quote from someone much better at friendships than myself: "I just try to cherish whatever friends I have in whatever situation we're in." Thanks Dec. I should probably just relax and do the same.
2 comments:
Well, even Jesus invested the majority of his time in 12 specific people that he knew were open to him and would invest their own time in Him. Of course, He always had time for anyone that asked, or needed him specifically. Still, his main energy went into cultivating relationships and trust among the 12. So I don't know the full situation but I feel like it's ok to focus on the few as long as you still hold a godly love and interest in others around you.
p.s. your blog is so often thought provoking and encouraging, thanks so much for being vulnerable with your life!
dear sarah,
i'm not sure who you are (but i have an idea), but know that your encouragement means a lot. i think you're right about the apostles - and even within that, it was really peter, james, and john that He shared almost everything with.
i hope you continue to grow and learn, and that 'still' helps you a bit along the way :)
peace-
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