the attainment of joy

"Our true self is the face of God that looks upon us at each instant of our existence."
-William Chittick, Sufism

In continuation of the contemplations on love and isolation, I've decided to "face the east," as Chittick would say - face the sunrise and the joyous side of the sky. Today I want to talk about joy (yay!) which would be not the means to healing, but a symptom that one is beginning to heal, from self-isolation and loneliness.

Let me first describe joy - I don't mean just happiness; happiness is circumstantial. I mean real, pure, joy - that combination of deep peace, warm comfort, intangible happiness that runs deeper than blood and is situated further inward than heart. The smell of autumn seeping under your window, the understanding of a good friend, a quiet morning and a cup of tea, being surrounded by people you love and who love you... the daily manifestations of joy, in the quiet things.

And then there is loud joy - the wild thunderstorm, crashing winds, utter exhilaration. The mute loud joy of experiencing God's Love, blasting away every bit of yourself and leaving only His intention, His Breath, a slowly perfecting cocoon of Being.

There is a wellspring of Joy inside us that keeps us alive - God is Beauty, and Beauty's purpose is to arouse Joy and Love and draw us deeper into Existence and the crowned, broken, resurrected Heart. Beauty Itself holds us in existence - if we could only grasp the Beauty now, our hearts would break of joy.

But-
we are incapable, as of yet.

our souls are-
so small.

we must stretch them,
like the legs
of a small
child.

We can only know joy through suffering - this is evident. Every pull away from God makes us cling closer to Him if we hold on to faith.

do i dare to be joyful?

to be joyful is to be vulnerable.

what if it means that i am content?
-suffering will draw you forward
deeper.


i'm drawn into the abstract, the metaphysical. but perhaps it is okay, for now; there are nights when i'm lost in the bitter and mundane as well, and i have inheritance to both. don't hate my joy; it is not because i'm righteous but because right now i am still, and God is moving me away. sometimes it hurts, but love transforms it into a deeper understanding - of both pain and joy. if one has the courage to deny cynicism, they inherit suffering and joy.

but perhaps, in the suffering Christ, suffering and joy can become united.
to embrace suffering with love.


the process of joy, phase 1:
become yourself.

there are three elements that make up one's life - God, self, and others. to know God is to become one's truest self, to become one's truest self is to then offer that self to every person you encounter, and to give oneself to others is to participate in the active agape love of God Himself.

so really it should read:

phase one: love God
phase two: let Him strip away all that is Not-You, so your truest Self comes to life
phase three: love actively, in your immediate life and in the social sphere against injustice


joy should not be sought for its own sake; it is merely a byproduct. joy proceeds from recognition of Beauty - seek then Beauty, and joy will follow.


i will speak soon of suffering and compassion, those uniquely human qualities that made God weep with love for us. i'm not ready to speak of them, and will never be while my feet touch this earth, but soon i will try. for now, rest, and be encouraged - in the end lies joy that i could never deserve or come close to grasping, holding, encountering, a pure unadulterated union with all that Is.